Baby, I don't do Ronan Keating
by MissPoisonedAddiction1
Summary: When Rachel goes all gooey for Ronan Keating, Puck lays down the law. But if it's going to mean he's getting some... Well, maybe he will, for her.


**Authors Note:**

_Wrote this a little late last night while listening to some of his songs. Not sure if Ronan does do a cover for Christmas jingles or whatever, but feel free to review and stuff._

**Disclaimer:**

_Do not own._

* * *

At first, it starts when they've gone shopping. Christmas decorations hang from the walls and ceilings, plastic inflatable snowmen threatening to jump out at you as you walk by. And then they cross this one store, and Berry looks at the TV screen as Ronan does a cover for "Do They Know It's Christmas?"

And her eyes, he swears to God, go all dopey in like, two seconds.

He's not kidding.

He pulls impatiently on her arm as she just stands there, staring. And for a moment, he almost has her—until two other girls come up, and it's like a Zombie fucking virus has dropped or some shit.

They sway on their feet, Berry mouthing the words to the song and Puck just stands there, watches as other dudes pass by, frowning in sympathy for him, and he sighs, walks into the store and buys the freaking DVD, tucking it like a gun under his jacket. He would be caught dead before being seen with that shit.

He doesn't say anything to her, though, just pulls her along a little too forcefully.

She grimaces, her eyes legit fucking watering.

_Well, fuck me._

_

* * *

_

It starts again when his voice is on the radio, singing huskily "This I promise you". Seriously, Ronan Keating's voice is stalking him. And then, out of fucking no where? Rachel is there, humming softly.

His jaw drops because a) she didn't even fucking knock and b) the door was locked.

"Babe, how the hell did you get your crazy ass inside?" he asks slowly and she just grins innocently at him until the song finishes. She sighs wistfully, leaning on the kitchen table in a simple fucking pile of goo-goo eyes and shit—is that drool at the corner of her mouth?

Puck shakes his head, continues to do the dishes.

She saddles up to him, lays her head on his arm, stares out the window above the sink. He does too, and thinks they're having a moment.

Until he splashes her white singlet with warm soapy water and she screams "Noah! You jerk!"

And throws on her black coat.

But not before he got to see some through boobage.

He grins wickedly.

_Priceless._

_

* * *

_

There's two days left of school and Rachel is humming The Way You Make Me Feel.

He looks around slowly, wondering where the fuck she came from (honestly, she's Rachel Berry, and it's better if he didn't ask) and just shrugs it off, kisses her forehead.

She smiles up at him.

"I want you to sing for me," she says simply, brushing the non-existent dust from his shirt. He blinks.

"What song?" he asks with a sigh after a moment.

She just grins. "Surprise me!" she throws over her shoulder, turns and walks away, leaving him wondering faintly when he started to like Ronan Keating because basically all of his damn songs are stuck in his head.

* * *

Hannah, his little sister is banging on the door, asking for the phone.

Two rings. Rachel picks up.

_Rustling of paper._

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, I need to tell you something."

_A door closes._

"_What is it, Noah?"_

"Baby, I don't do Ronan Keating."

_A long pause. Some breathing._

"Babe?"

"_Yes, I'm still present, Noah."_

"So, we cool?"

"_No."_

"Oh…"

She hangs up.

He rings again.

And again.

And he's in _shit._

_

* * *

_

Friday is the last day they have to practice Glee before sectionals, three weeks prior to Christmas.

When they go through the routine, he asks Mr. Shue (nicely) if he can do a quick song. Mr. Shue stares at him, as if he might suddenly punch him in the face and then nods, hushing the room with his skills.

So when he hands sheet music over to the band his heart is pounding and he can feel Rachel's eyes on his back like some lasers or some shit.

It starts out with the awesome piano guy doing a cover of the flutes or some shit, and then he sings, that feeling of something bunched under his heart slowly ebbing away as he inhales, lets it go, the words coming to him.

[_**Puck Singing**_]

_**It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart**_

_**Without saying a word, you can light up the dark**_

_**Try as I may, I can never explain, what I hear when you don't say a thing…**_

_**The smile on your face lets me know that you need me,**_

_**There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me**_

_**The touch of your hand says you'll catch me**_

_**Whenever I fall**_

_**You say it best **_He glimpsed at her then, and knew her panties would be _soaked._

_**When you say nothing at all….**_

_**

* * *

**_

"Noah, I have something for you" she says from her closet, after he threw himself on her bed, yawning.

After the song, everyone had lost their damn minds. He didn't really give two fucks if they thought he was whipped (totally isn't) he just wanted to see her happy (totally is).

So to say he nearly loses his load when she steps out wearing nothing but long red boots—five inch heels—and a Santa's hat? Is totally a fucking understatement.

He looks skyward and mouths; "Thank you, Ronan…"

Before his lips crush hers.


End file.
